My Scripts - BIG UPDATE

Forget below. I have now found a new place to sell my wares: Script Circle.
I am now getting all my scripts uploaded so that customers past, present and future can enjoy performing my ridiculous drivel brilliant masterpieces.

Unfortunately, the site where my scripts were for sale, Production Scripts, has folded.
The former owners have intimated that the site has been sold on and that it will be up and running again in due course. However, there is no concrete evidence of this. Consequently, until I get a chance to clean up this blog, all the links to my scripts are now broken. If you would like further information about my scripts then please contact me directly. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

The Terrapin

Latest in my series of monologues although slightly different as it does not follow the day in a life of a particular job.

The Terrapin is basically a bit of a rant by a man who receives an unusual gift for his fiftieth birthday. Okay, the title is a bit of a give-away in respect of the gift but how he deals with it is another matter altogether.

The Secret Agent

Within days of its publication on Production Scripts, my latest monologue, The Secret Agent made its first sale. Only a review copy but a sale nevertheless. It was purchased by a teacher at a high school in the US who also purchased various other scripts. He may have been amassing material for a high school review or just for some drama class exercises.

The Secret Agent joins my other scripts which are all now increasing in popularity. There are a lot more ideas in motion and I will be publishing further scripts, both monologues and full length pieces throughout 2013 and beyond. In the meantime, happy New Year to all my blog followers and readers.

Three Things to Celebrate in 2012

Yes, 2012 is a great year for the UK. During the summer, we shall be watching the Olympics, hosted in London, the best city in the World - probably. Shortly before that, we shall be whooping it up with HM Elizabeth II to celebrate her phenomenal 60 years as sovereign. Finally, this week sees the World premier of The Frog Prince by Simon Paul. Book here: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk
Support your local theatre group at Amdram

Pantomime season is looming...

With pantomime season looming, now's the time to start searching for a script.
The Production Scripts web site has a good choice of original scripts, including two of mine. The first is a simple version of Cinderella which was written for the Southfields Theatre Group when it first formed. The script was written on the basis that the group was new and that most of the founding members had never done any acting, at least since school. It is a very simple production but also very funny.
The second script I have written is Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves. As yet unperformed, it again has been written with amateur groups in mind.
If you do not care for either of my scripts, you will find a good choice of others at Production Scripts. A good function of the site is that you can purchase reasonably priced read through copies of scripts before you go on to buy performance licences.

The Butler

My latest tome, The Butler, is now available at Production Scripts alongside Cinderella and Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves.
The Butler is a short monologue for radio or a stage review. One day, the Butler to a Russian oligarch receives a phone call...
Naturally, like my pantomime scripts, The Butler is full of humour and in such a short space of time!

The fun and joy of Facebook

Even that esteemed bastion of taste and all that is decent and upstanding, the BBC, admitted this week that Facebook has revolutionised the way we use computers. Has it? I don't know! What I do know is that it is a wonderful way to promote stuff. It is especially good for writers and other creative types like wot I is!
It is also a very immediate way to get out a message to hundreds, thousands and potentially millions of people within minutes, hours or days at most. Unlike Twitter, you can send out a bit more than half a sentence. Combined with Twitter it is a full-on assault on an unseen and unsuspecting audience. If you haven't already realised the power of Facebook, then click on any of the links in this text or on my Facebook mug shot further down the page.

An Excerpt From Cinderella by Simon Paul

Scene 3: The lounge of Hardup Towers
The Baron, Baroness and the ugly sisters are taking tea while Cinderella crawls round to each of the women, and polishes their shoes. The women are all ganging up on the Baron about various things – mostly connected with the fact that he is not as rich as they had thought before the Baroness married him. They also make reference to Cinderella a number of times as if she wasn’t there. A knock at the door heralds an invitation for the family to attend a grand ball in honour of Prince Charming.

Baron Hardup: My, what wonderful weather we are having for the time of year.

Baroness Hardup: Oh shut up you pathetic little man. What we need is a way to make some cash as you have none.

Ginger: Oooh I do like money don’t you Brazillia?

Brazillia: Oooh, yes I do my little Ginger…

Tipsy: (Sways in and across stage and off again.) …pussy. Here puss, here puss.

All: (To audience.) Who is that woman? (Pause and back to conversation.)

Baroness Hardup: It seems to me that my only hope is to secure large dowries for these two. (Indicating Ginger and Brazillia.) But look at the state of them. Who would want to marry them?

(Just then there is a knock at the door.)

Baron Hardup: (Calls out.) Get that please Buttons.

Buttons enters carrying a large card. It reads – ‘Please check your inbox for an important message’.

Baroness Hardup: (Pulling something out from the folds of her skirt.) Ooh, I thought I felt a throbbing in my folds – my Blackberry’s on vibrate. Okay, inbox, inbox, inbox. Here we are. It's from the King.

Ugly sisters: Ooooohhh!

Baroness Hardup: (Reading in a Northern accent.) To all thems what have daughters of t'marrying age. Hmm. Queenie and I invite you to t'grand ball in honour of t'son, Prince Charming. RSVP HRH King.

The ugly sisters are almost aroused with excitement. They start dancing together but get in a mess as both try to be the female. They end up in a heap on the floor.

Ginger: Oooh, come on Brazillia – let's go and get some retail therapy. We must look our best for the Prince.

(C) Simon Paul, 2008