An Excerpt From Cinderella by Simon Paul

Scene 3: The lounge of Hardup Towers
The Baron, Baroness and the ugly sisters are taking tea while Cinderella crawls round to each of the women, and polishes their shoes. The women are all ganging up on the Baron about various things – mostly connected with the fact that he is not as rich as they had thought before the Baroness married him. They also make reference to Cinderella a number of times as if she wasn’t there. A knock at the door heralds an invitation for the family to attend a grand ball in honour of Prince Charming.

Baron Hardup: My, what wonderful weather we are having for the time of year.

Baroness Hardup: Oh shut up you pathetic little man. What we need is a way to make some cash as you have none.

Ginger: Oooh I do like money don’t you Brazillia?

Brazillia: Oooh, yes I do my little Ginger…

Tipsy: (Sways in and across stage and off again.) …pussy. Here puss, here puss.

All: (To audience.) Who is that woman? (Pause and back to conversation.)

Baroness Hardup: It seems to me that my only hope is to secure large dowries for these two. (Indicating Ginger and Brazillia.) But look at the state of them. Who would want to marry them?

(Just then there is a knock at the door.)

Baron Hardup: (Calls out.) Get that please Buttons.

Buttons enters carrying a large card. It reads – ‘Please check your inbox for an important message’.

Baroness Hardup: (Pulling something out from the folds of her skirt.) Ooh, I thought I felt a throbbing in my folds – my Blackberry’s on vibrate. Okay, inbox, inbox, inbox. Here we are. It's from the King.

Ugly sisters: Ooooohhh!

Baroness Hardup: (Reading in a Northern accent.) To all thems what have daughters of t'marrying age. Hmm. Queenie and I invite you to t'grand ball in honour of t'son, Prince Charming. RSVP HRH King.

The ugly sisters are almost aroused with excitement. They start dancing together but get in a mess as both try to be the female. They end up in a heap on the floor.

Ginger: Oooh, come on Brazillia – let's go and get some retail therapy. We must look our best for the Prince.

(C) Simon Paul, 2008