Some Home Grown Limericks

There was an old man in a hat

Who felt that he looked like a twat

His face was so thin

With a stupid wide grin

And his legs were large, round and fat

There was an old man in an inn

Whose love of his life was gin

When it came to his round

He ne'er had a pound

So his mates they battered him in

There was an old man with a shoe

Who said "oh what shall I do?"

"I've got two lovely feet,

which are really neat

but only one shoe, not two"

There was a young gardener from Leeds

Whose garden was covered in weeds

He got out his hoe

And got ready to sow

A selection of interesting seeds

(C) Simon Paul, 2013

The Butler

My latest tome, The Butler, is now available at Production Scripts alongside Cinderella and Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves.
The Butler is a short monologue for radio or a stage review. One day, the Butler to a Russian oligarch receives a phone call...
Naturally, like my pantomime scripts, The Butler is full of humour and in such a short space of time!