Some Home Grown Limericks

There was an old man in a hat

Who felt that he looked like a twat

His face was so thin

With a stupid wide grin

And his legs were large, round and fat

There was an old man in an inn

Whose love of his life was gin

When it came to his round

He ne'er had a pound

So his mates they battered him in

There was an old man with a shoe

Who said "oh what shall I do?"

"I've got two lovely feet,

which are really neat

but only one shoe, not two"

There was a young gardener from Leeds

Whose garden was covered in weeds

He got out his hoe

And got ready to sow

A selection of interesting seeds

(C) Simon Paul, 2013

Simon Paul - that's me!

Just a quicky to tell you about a new blog I've set up just so that the World can get a sensible idea of who and what I am. It can be accessed either via my domain: www.simonpaul.net or directly at: www.simon-paul.blogspot.com

Three Things to Celebrate in 2012

Yes, 2012 is a great year for the UK. During the summer, we shall be watching the Olympics, hosted in London, the best city in the World - probably. Shortly before that, we shall be whooping it up with HM Elizabeth II to celebrate her phenomenal 60 years as sovereign. Finally, this week sees the World premier of The Frog Prince by Simon Paul. Book here: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk
Support your local theatre group at Amdram

The Frog Prince

Coming soon...

January 2012 to be precise.

The Frog Prince

a new pantomime

written by

Simon Paul

directed by

Simon Paul

More information as and when available at:

http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography

Theatre Photography

For theatre groups, Simon offers a reasonably priced attendance at rehearsals and performances. Getting some good pictures for publicity purposes is essential. You may also want stock pictures of your actors and back stage staff. You will be provided with a one-off disc or USB stick for you to choose to print whichever you please when you please. Special rates for amateur groups who can benefit from making money selling prints to cast, friends etc.
http://www.skazmanagement.co.uk/skazography
http://www.skazography.blogspot.com

skazography is a trading name of Simon Paul

Grid#Productions Up-date - Gothic Themes

Things are moving slowly with Grid#Productions but better to be cautious and come up with some real quality than to steer the whole thing on to the rocks.
The strategy will be to focus on productions based on Gothic and macabre tales inspired by the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and more. The origins of Gothic horror are said to be steeped in Horace Walpole's 'The Castle of Otranto' written in 1764. However, we can probably go back a lot further to unpublished tales, often handed down through the generations in poetic form. However, Walpole's tale was the first published story that spawned a new and exciting genre.
The focus on these tales is because they lend themselves so brilliantly to the dramatic form. With moments of drama, suspense, romance and sometimes eroticism, it is a genre that that has been explored many time, especially in film but perhaps less so in theatre. However, whilst not wanting to jump on the back of the recent production of Frankenstein, audiences are attracted to themes and plot lines that appear to dwell on legend, myth and unexplained circumstances.
Please go to the Grid#Productions site and follow it for up dates as and when they are available.

Pantomime season is looming...

With pantomime season looming, now's the time to start searching for a script.
The Production Scripts web site has a good choice of original scripts, including two of mine. The first is a simple version of Cinderella which was written for the Southfields Theatre Group when it first formed. The script was written on the basis that the group was new and that most of the founding members had never done any acting, at least since school. It is a very simple production but also very funny.
The second script I have written is Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves. As yet unperformed, it again has been written with amateur groups in mind.
If you do not care for either of my scripts, you will find a good choice of others at Production Scripts. A good function of the site is that you can purchase reasonably priced read through copies of scripts before you go on to buy performance licences.

RolePlay by Alan Ayckbourn - Latest News

The first night of Southfields Theatre Group's production of Sir Alan Ayckbourn's RolePlay was a rip-roaring success.
Audience comments included: 'brilliant', 'fabulous', 'the group's best production yet'.
Tickets are still available for tonight, Friday 15th July and tomorrow: http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/event/14633
Or you can call the box office hotline on 07535 117 169. Alternatively there should be a few tickets available on the door. Be a part of our latest success!

RolePlay by Alan Ayckbourn

With less than two weeks to curtain up, tickets for RolePlay by Alan Ayckbourn, directed by someone called Simon Paul are selling fast.
The production happens at St Barnabus Church, Lavenham Road, London SW18 on 14th, 15th and 16th July at 7:30pm. The play is the third part of a trilogy themed along the lines of damsels in distress. The action takes place in a Docklands flat where a young couple have arranged a dinner party for their respective parents to meet for the first time. Their best laid plans start to go awry when one of their neighbours literally drops in. All good fun.
Go to the Southfields Theatre Group web site for more information: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Pantomime season is looming...

Now is the time that many groups will be considering their pantomime production for the coming winter season. To help you with your choice, here are a couple of suggestions. Cinderella was first performed by the Southfields Theatre Group in January 2009. It received very good reviews and played to a total audience of around 500. It is a fairly traditional take on the story and was written specifically for amateur groups on a tight budget.
Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves has yet to be performed so why not be the first group to give it a try? It too can be done on a fairly tight budget and it is a very humorous script. In each case, as the author, I will be happy to advise on any aspects of the production of either pantomime and to do any rewrites that might help to produce the show to your needs.

Edgar Alan Poe

There was an interesting documentary with dramatic inserts about the loves of Edgar Alan Poe this evening. It is available to view on BBC i-player until 20:59, Sunday 12th June. The link is here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00vfhhp/Edgar_Allan_Poe_Love_Death_and_Women/

The programme is presented very well by crime author Denise Mina. It examines Poe's relationships with key women in his life and how they may have influenced his writings. What is obviously poignant for me is my current work in progress for Grid#Productions, a stage adaptation of one of Poe's poems. You'll have to wait and see which one and in the meantime speculate as to which one (or more) of his women inspired the work.

Creating an exciting piece of theatre...

My own experience of writing for the theatre is to think this way. First of all, come up with a clear vision of what the finished production will look like. This is what I am doing for the first show that will be produced through Grid#Productions.
I used the same process with my first piece, Cinderella. Okay, so the story is very familiar. However, I wanted it to be a simple show that could be produced by an amateur theatre group on a very tight budget. In fact most shows can be produced very simply.
Once the vision is there, the rest sort of falls in to place. It is a matter of introducing the various characters and ensuring a good plot line that has a beginning, middle and an end. This is all rather similar when starting a business - putting on my hat as a business adviser for a moment. It's all about that vision of where you want to be. At the end of the day, if you can see the big picture, the detail will fall into place much more easily.

New ideas for JK Rowling...

On the way back from dropping the boy off at this year's Rutsfest, my nine year old daughter (an avid Potter fan) and I came up with some new potential book titles for Ms Rowling. Here are some of our favourites:
Harry Potter and the Curse of the Spotted Sloth
Harry Potter Loses his Shoelaces
Harry Potter Shaves his Owl
Harry Potter and the Strange Haircut
Harry Potter and the Lollipop of Doom
Harry Potter Makes a New Wand from Jelly

Well, anyway, they made us laugh, along with about fifty others. I wonder whether any of them will ever get written?

Another technology interlude...

Has anyone tried Microsoft Office 365 yet?
Don't bother!
I received a message saying that my account was set up along with my user ID. I had assumed that the password I thought I used to register would have been the one that would let me into this amazing (really) product. But no. Additionally, there is no way of resetting your password unless you are logged in in the first place - wonderful! There is no way of contacting Microsoft and the user forum posts that might give an indication of what to do, do not allow you to post anything - probably because I cannot log in.
My overall impression of Microsoft Office 365 Beta - don't bother with the proper version if you can't thin k through some basics in the first place. Points out of ten - zero! I'll stick to Google.

Grid#Productions

I am setting up Grid#Productions to produce exciting and sometimes different theatrical productions. The first show will be an adaptation of an Edgar Alan Poe poem. The script is still a work in progress but just needs actually putting to paper. Poe was the master of the macabre and this script will take the relevant poem and explore the characters in more depth. The aim is to produce the first show by the end of next Spring.
Further scripts are planned, again based on classic stories, either directly or as a theme. The challenge comes in turning incredible imagery into an entertaining (and hopefully chilling) piece of theatre.
Watch this space or the Grid#Productions site for up dates.

Favourite Video on The Onion

This has to be my favourite video on The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/video/sony-releases-new-stupid-piece-of-shit-that-doesnt,14309/
Once, you've endured the cool car ad, it's brilliant A bit like, if you know of it, the hi-fi salesman on one the old National Lampoon records. This time though, it's a spoof Sony ad. It's brilliant in terms of content, script, pace - everything in fact.
There's loads more videos on The Onion, many very American in humour as you would expect. As a Brit, this one has much wider appeal. See what you think.

Musical Interlude

Great news for vinyl lovers. A good friend of mine is bringing back high quality, collectable vinyl records through his business Simply Vinyl.
The business is re-issuing classic and compilation albums from favourite artists such as Derek and the Dominoes, Al Green and T-Rex. If you are a hi-fi enthusiast with a penchant for vinyl, then bookmark www.simplyvinyl.com and look out for new releases coming soon. Apparently the plan is to have around fifty releases by then end of the year.

Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves by Simon Paul

You can now purchase a review copy of Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves direct from me here:

Cinderella by Simon Paul

You can now purchase a review copy of Cinderella direct from me in pdf format here: