Some Home Grown Limericks

There was an old man in a hat

Who felt that he looked like a twat

His face was so thin

With a stupid wide grin

And his legs were large, round and fat

There was an old man in an inn

Whose love of his life was gin

When it came to his round

He ne'er had a pound

So his mates they battered him in

There was an old man with a shoe

Who said "oh what shall I do?"

"I've got two lovely feet,

which are really neat

but only one shoe, not two"

There was a young gardener from Leeds

Whose garden was covered in weeds

He got out his hoe

And got ready to sow

A selection of interesting seeds

(C) Simon Paul, 2013

If you like nonsense, then this is brilliant...

Lewis Carroll reciting Jabberwocky.

The Man With a Lamp by Peter Anpil

One dark cloudy night, a man with a lamp,
Set out on his own in the cold and damp.
Wearing nothing but a gown and a churlish frown,
He took four steps and then he fell right down.

As he sat and he wept, a creature crept,
Woken by the fall of the man as it slept.
The man looked up and was astonished and amazed,
As the creature grew bigger and its paws it raised.

The man jumped up as if startled by a gun,
And about on his heels he began to run.
Not knowing where to go or where to turn,
He ran and he ran ‘till his feet did burn.

When far away on the edge of town,
Only then did the man slowly look around.
There was no creature, no fiend of the night,
It was only his shadow that had given him fright.

(C) Peter Anpil, 2009

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